She has Asthma

My little girl has been wheezy from birth. We thought it was cute ya know. When newborns make noises, it makes everyones hearts melt. Up until a certain age that is, at which point the red face and loud grunting stops being cute and just becomes downright disgusting. ;-)

So we didn't worry too much about the sounds she made while breathing. I thought, " maybe its Asthma..but she is so young, how would they know?"

Flash forward 4 months

Little girl still wheezes, we take her to a doctor to inquire. " She has a noisy nasal cavity." He said, instantly making me fall in love with him. No not because he is young and good looking and a doctor, but because I can stop worrying about my daughters brain cells not getting enough oxygen. I can stop fretting over how I could possibly coerce my four month old girl into taking massive amounts of drugs when I hate even giving her a half a teaspoon of cough medicine. I am relieved, I am ecstatic and I am secretly still not sure......

Flash forward a year and a half

Little Girl still wheezes, louder and more often, coughing for long periods at night and sometimes during the day. Many people listen to her breathing, " yep, she has asthma." Drat that six letter swear word! One friends daughter has it and says, after having shoved her ear into Little Girls chest, " Oh, that sound scares me!" Scares you? Your scaring me! I think its just a cold, a chest cold I tell myself, she'll get over it and you'll all see!

Four nights of humidifier treatments later, she still has it. No amount of cold medicine will send it away. " she has asthma" I remember admitting to myself, and I was sad.

None of you probably know, but I have asthma and so does my husband. He has it less than I do, in fact he doesn't even remember the last time he had to use an inhaler, but I remember mine.

If I am around dogs and cats, or cold air or exercise, I better have that little puffer, or I'm toast. I hoped to avoid that dependency with Little Girl. I wanted her to be healthy and happy and not have to be limited or disabled. I want her to be able to run and skip and play without having to stop to catch her breath hours before the other children have to. I want her to have a family dog to love and pet and cuddle with, without the fear of a hospital trip. I want so many things for her that might not come true.

Flash back last Friday in the Doctors office

" She has mild persistent asthma" he said, instantly making me hate him. Not because he is old and not very good looking and a doctor, but because he just broke my heart. " So what does it mean? what are the treatments?" I really didn't want to know, I wanted to clasp my hands over my ears and sing really loud so I couldn't hear him. But seeing as how no one else was there with me, I had no choice but to hear the sentencing. " She has to take this medicine with a nebulizer once a day every day until she is old enough to hold her own inhaler, probably about four years old. This other medicine goes in the nebulizer with the first if she has a really bad attack with rapid breathing. That isn't likely, but just so you'll be ready."

So there it is, the first two years of her life wheezing and the prognosis? The rest of her life stuck on drugs. Great. There has to be another way, maybe a second opinion with a specialist? Maybe some natural medicines? I don't know. I'm sad and relieved all at the same time. I want her to be able to breath, and have brain function! Perhaps she will grow out of it. Perhaps not. I guess all we can do is wait and see.

No, I haven't been kidnapped, but thanks for caring!

Imagine, if you will, a seven hour car ride. Now, add two screaming babies. Now add one whining dog. Now add one cranky, tired husband. Now add me. Fun huh?

Well, that was my weekend. But only a small portion of it.

We drove up to CoeurdAlene for the last part of the week. The driving part wasn't so hot, but the rest of it was great. We got to hang out with our families and just relax for a while, something I couldn't quite remember how to do!

The Man and I also celebrated our fifth year anniversary on Friday and I bet you can't guess what we did. Seriously, take a stab at it........................Nope, your way off!

Nathan went out and killed me a deer. Happy anniversary honey! And then I got to watch while he butchered it and cut it up into steaks and roasts and such and then he handed me the pieces to vacuum pack. Whoo hoo! See, finally, after five years I got to do something extra special! ;-)

In all actuality I'm glad he got to go out hunting and get something. He loves to do it and I pretty much bribed him into it anyway.( thats how I got up to Cda!) I also like deer meat, so it all works out! He did take me to a little place around here called Cotton Wood Grille the week before and he spent massive amounts of money on me, so I'm really just giving him a hard time! He loves me and spoils me ( sometimes...) and these last five years have just drug...I mean flown by! ;-)

As far as blogging goes, I have been a complete slacker. But, in my defense, Nathans parents have dial up on their computer and the pages load at about five minutes each. So, its not really conducive for long sit down sessions! But, I'm back now and I'll never leave you again!

Last thing, I'll give really big props and a huge high five to anyone who can name the movie from which this rap comes from:

My name is Batty
My logic is erratic
Potato in a jacket
Toys in the attic
I rock and I ramble
My brain is scrambled
I rap like an animal
but, I'm a mammal.

I have been watching this movie many numerous time a day for the last three days, Nathans mom bought it for The Boy and its his new favorite! Prior to this, I hadn't see it in oh..... ten or more years! Can anyone guess?

The next Ringo Star

Its 9:00 in the morning. I'm still in the stage where loud noises make my ears scream.
The Boy has found all of my metal mixing bowls and has arranged them in a half circle in front of him. He's grabbed my mixing spoons, one for each hand.

Can you picture what comes next?

Now add his beautiful four year old singing voice, at the loudest decibel point it can go.

Yeah, its gonna be one of those days.......................

Flash back poetry session

Back when I was young...er I liked to write poetry. I took classes in school and it was a stress reliever and escape form my normal world.

I came across an old notebook the other day and thought it would be cool to share some of the stuff I wrote with you!

This one I wrote when I had already graduated. There was a boy ( of course!) who I was dating and we hadn't been together very long, but I decided he wasn't for me and I broke it off. ( I had very large commitment issues!!) During the phone conversation he told me that he had loved me and I was breaking his heart. Well, needless to say I felt pretty bad....so this is what came of that:

I don't know what to say
When you talk to me the way you do
Those words you choose so carefully
Touch me in a way I'm not used to
It feels funny, in my chest
To hear you say I'm beautiful
Almost like I don't quite believe you
I don't really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I don't understand it

I don't know what to do
When you look at me the way you do
Those eyes are so sincere
They move me in a way no ones ever used to
I'm confused in my mind
When you imply that I'm the one
As if you could truly know that
No one does really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I don't understand it.

I don't know who I am
When you touch me the way you do
Those fingers gently caressing
Change me in a way I never expected to
It scares me in my heart
To feel myself falling so far
Almost as if I could never find me again
I can't really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I want to understand

Sugar sucks!...reason number 7

Sugar can weaken eye sight


( um..no wonder Im blind. Ok, well Im permanently blind in one eye anyway, but my good eye really is getting me in trouble. I can't read anything anymore! I knew it didn't have anything to do with lack of sex....as The Man has continuously claimed to be true....)

The sock abduction

I grab all the laundry from my basket..its whites today and miracle of miracles, all my socks have their buddies.

I shove as many items as will fit in the washer..they get clean enough.

I pour a large amount of detergent into the heap.. a lot more than called for, but what the heck, I'm feeling good today.

I turn it on and sit around, dutifully waiting until they are finished...actually, in reality I take off and do a little shopping, accidentally forgetting them until the next day.

I take out the "freshly" laundered clothes and throw them casually into the dryer..adding two dryer sheets, since you can never have enough " blue sparkle" scent emanating from your duds.

I remember to take them out and fold them up, four hours later...right when I was headed for bed.

I start to fold, socks first...one pair, two pairs, three pairs, four pairs, five pairs, six.....wait.

I dig through the pile..searching.

I cannot find the last sock..where is it?

I had them all when I started......but now its missing.

I stand up and head for the laundry room.....perhaps it has fallen out somewhere in transit.

I scour the room...no luck, but I did find that missing diaper that has been plaguing us with its stench for the last week. Sick......

I stand in the center of the room, scratching my head...futilely wishing it would come to me through ESP.

I wonder..ESP? Doesn't that have something to do with aliens?

Aliens? Aha! I knew it, it was them!....I loose more socks that way.

Maybe they had cold feet.

*****************************************************************************

What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit?
A frying saucer
Why are aliens messy tea-drinkers?
With flying saucers, it's hard not to spill it
Where do Martians get their eggs?
From the little green hen
What are aliens' favourite sweets?
Martian-mallows

Sugar sucks!...reason number 6

Sugar feeds cancer cells and has been connected with the development of cancer of the breast, ovaries, prostate, rectum,( um..gross. rectum cancer?) pancreas, biliary tract, lung, gallbladder and stomach.


( 'Nuff said)

The ever elusive shower

I was thinking today. Yes, surprising, I know.

Why is it that no matter how hard I try to stay sanitary, I seem to come in dead last in the race for a better smelling body. I'm not saying that I stink all the time. I know I don't because I am constantly asking The Man if I do. " No Ashleigh," He says ever so patiently for the hundredth time " I can't smell you...I can't smell anything but your normal you smell." Whats that supposed to mean anyway, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Anyway, I have two kids. Everybody knows it. But what everyone doesn't know, but now will, is that I don't always get a shower everyday. Eww, gross I know!! This is what I'm saying!

Why is it that I don't? Do you think its because I am such a super mom/ trophy wife/ humanitarian/best friend/errand runner/maid/cook/coupon ninja/party girl that I have absolutely no time on my hands? I don't think that one is it, because at this point in time I have trouble filling the endless hours of my day with enough stimulating activities to keep my pantry from becoming stripped bare of all its goodies in one boredom induced rampage.

So, maybe it could be that I am running around after my kids all day, shuffling them too and fro from place to place. Its probably not that one either since my kids aren't even in school yet and we pretty much stay home all day and do heaven knows what, since when I go to bed my house looks exactly the way it did when I woke up.

Then it must be the fact that I sleep in as long as possible and when my kids wake up I bring them into bed with me to suck out as many minutes of blissful shuteye that I can. And then I blog all day. No it can be this one either, certainly not. I NEVER do that.....

So why then, my friends, do I torture myself by constantly sniffing my armpits. Why do I not just get up early, say..6 am with The Man, take a shower and be done with it? Why does this ever so important hygienic ritual continually slip out from under my grasp?

I have talked to many women with this same problem. First time moms who can't even remember what is was like to have smooth, un-fuzzied teeth. Seasoned veterans with many children living at home, who must jump from bed and into a hat and sweats because someones alarm forgot to go off and they are late for school. Even grandmothers and near empty nesters who seem to just forget the time and the day slips past. ( or they really are busy doing productive things....)
The consensus seems to be that no one knows the answer. Its a conundrum. We must just have issues. I know many good friends who are always cute and tidy..and clean. Why is it so easy for them? Perhaps the answer will never be found. We will wander through this life perplexed at our situation, wishing we could change it. But alas, our desires will never be satiated.


Ok Ok, I'm just lazy and would rather do something else that take all the time it takes to get ready, especially in the morning...ugh!!! There, I said it. Besides..who do I ever see, and who else ever smells me besides The Man, and he promised to love me for better or for worse..or stinky, right?

( this is an aside note: I really don't stink, and I really do get ready... most days!)

Sugar Sucks!...reason number 5

Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function.

( So, premature aging and sagging..yummy. Think about that next time you eat a donut!) ;-)

The armpit of Idaho

I live in a small town about 20 minutes outside of Boise Idaho. It doesn't have much. It takes me ten to fifteen minutes to get to Walmart and there is no mall. Shopping is the pits.

So if I'm looking for anything good I have to jump in my car, kids in tow, and make the drive into the Big City.

Today was one of those days.

Before I continue I have make an aside note:
My sister is living with me for a few months before she heads off into the real world of college. I love having her here..well when I actually see her, but I have to think of fun things to do to help entertain her. Being a stay at home mom isn't the big party its hyped up to be! The only thing I can ever come up with is shopping, which leads us back to my story...

There is this really cute little store in downtown Boise called Lux Fashion Lounge. Its like DI or GoodWill but the owners only buy cute trendy clothes. So I love it because its cheap and I don't have to dig through all the other stuff you would normally have to at those other places. ( though I do shop at DI and GoodWill all the time!)

So, this morning we headed off. ( It's important to note here that I have only driven around downtown Boise once by myself. There are a lot of one way streets...its very scary! Don't laugh you big City slickers out there!)

I had map quested how to get there. It was all written down and planned out in my head. It was only two turns after the freeway ended and it should have been a piece of cake. Yeah..right.

We made the two turns perfectly, our eyes were on the lookout for the sign, and we drove all the way up the street without seeing it. So we turned around the block and went back up the street. ( it was a one-way of course..) We didn't see it again. Now I was getting flustered and nervous. Did I get the address right? Did I forget to write down a street? No, I was pretty sure we were right where the Internet told us to be. So around we went again.

No luck. Ugh..I was getting sooo mad! We decided at that point to just find a parking spot and walk it out. And whatdya know, all the parking spaces had meters... did we bring quarters? Of course not. So for the millionth time we headed back around the block.

Just as I thought about saying, " FORGET IT!" and ramming my car through the nearest building, a sign for a parking garage caught my eye. We were saved!

Parking the car took to seconds. ( I know how to maneuver my way around one of those places at least!) and we were finally on the street. It was FREEZING!!

We shivered our way up the road to the where I was sure the dumb store was supposed to be. " It said 873 or something like that," I kept saying, so sure that I remembered the address from the one glance I had given it.

So we walked.....we walked and walked and walked, and not in a straight line,no, around in circles.....again. Our noses turned red and my fingers froze into curled tendrils around the stroller handle. My children sat motionless, quiet statues of ice. ( Ha, ha..I wish..) Then we had a brilliant idea, " Let's ask somebody!" We stopped a nice looking business woman on the street, " Oh that's way over there..go down this street for forever and then turn on this other street and walk a few blocks, it's in a little plaza square across from this restaurant."

"Wow", I thought to myself as we started down the street, " we were way off!" We didn't even make it half a block before I saw out of the corner of my eye a bright red sign on the sidewalk that read, " LUX." Well thank you random lady off of the street, you were of absolutely no help at all! ;-)

We had made it. It was about stinkin time. We were so cold and my kids were starving, which made then completely terrible in the store, but it was worth it. I found a couple of shirts and my sister found some cute stuff too. We also discovered that Lux has another store just up the street called Lux Vintage, which is right up Rachael's alley. She found the cutest dress and even though it was a crappy time getting there it was a fun time hangin out and bonding with my little sis. I don't know if she would say the same thing, but at least it got us both out of the house!

And I didn't have one bit of trouble finding my way back to the freeway. Thanx to the hippy girl in the vintage store. Thank you hippy girl in the store, you were of great help indeed.

Oh, by the way, the address was 783 or something like that..we had been walking around and around one block too far.

Sugar Sucks!...reason 3 and 4

Ok, so I skipped yesterday..sorry. Today I will do two!

Sugar can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline, hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.

( DUH!!! So that explains it....no wonder! And we send our kids off to school after having a nice big helping of froot loops?)

Sugar can produce a significant rise in total cholesterol, tryglicerides and bad cholesterol and a decrease in good cholesterol.

( Can anyone say heart attack?)

Ashleigh's life as a chapter book...

The scene of this story begins with our heroine Ashleigh and her two beautiful kids standing in line to check out at Walmart. They have been standing there a very, very long time when...............

Ashleigh: * to herself* " Oh, look over there..its The Jungle Book out on DVD. It must be an an anniversary edition. Cool, The Boy hasn't seen that one yet!" She grabs one off of the shelf and is looking it over when her very observant son turns to her and points.

Little Boy: " look over there at that movie mom! It has a bear and a tiger! Can I get that movie for me?"

Ashleigh smiles to herself, proud because she has been so perceptive in knowing what her son would like. She hands the one she is holding over to Little Boy and says...

Ashleigh: " This movie, right here?"

Little Boy: * huge grin on his face* " Yes! Are you going to get it for me?"

Ashleigh: " I think that would be alright."

Little Boy: " Thanks mom!"

Ashleigh is feeling pretty good right about now. Her kids have just endured an hour long shopping trip, buying many more numerous things than were on the original list, and they were actually pretty good throughout the whole endeavor. Only a few screams and maybe one or two complete meltdowns. Of course..there was that incident with the umbrellas, but that was Ashleigh's own fault..so she doesn't count it. She figures that a little reward is in order and a new show to watch is much better than a hunk of sugary death! ( not that she normally bribes her kids to be good...no not her..never..)

As Ashleigh begins to put her groceries up on the check stand, Little Boy stands up in the cart gives her a kiss on the cheek and hugs her tight. ( obvious he is elated by his new gift!) Ashleigh kisses him back and says how much she loves him. Then the following words proceed from his mouth:

Little Boy: " I love you too mom. I love you since you gave me this new movie!"

Ashleigh: "Since I gave you the movie? You love me even if I don't buy you stuff... right?"

Little Boy: " yeah...but I REALLY love you for buying me this movie!"

Ashleigh:" well...as long as you love me I guess. That's all that matters"

Ashleigh's new found confidence in her decision to reward her children for good deeds has now been totally decimated.

Thus ends this chapter of our story of one woman, desperate to keep her children from forcing her into a life of a recluse. -

How will it all end? Will she ever find a way to keep her children somewhat disciplined while in public? Is there a way for her to remain sane and be a mother at the same time?

Stayed tuned to find out!

Pre sugar Stats

I put em up..so check em out! Its hard to admit what I have been trying to deny.. but when you write things out like this it really opens your eyes.

When I first got married I weighed 135 pounds and was a size 8. I went up one size for each baby I had, and added about 20 Lbs each!

See, doesn't that feel so much better? Now that I see it..it totally sucks!

I say to myself, " you aren't THAT bad...you look OK...."

Who wants to look OK? Not I said the fly. I want to look ( and feel) GREAT!

I guess that requires some sacrifice and a lot of effort.

Sugar Sucks!...reason number 2

Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in your body: causes chromium and copper deficiencies and interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.

( Can we say Osteoporosis? At 24 years old? That really sucks! And since you need magnesium to help with calcium absorption in the body, it's a double sucky whammy!)

Sugar sucks!..reason number 1

Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.

( I wondered why I was ALWAYS getting sick. When I was younger I hardly ever caught anything! I was also ten times more active, hardly ever ate any sweet stuff and loved fruits and veggies. Now?...not so much.)

Ashleigh, weekends and posts...

Those three things don't really mesh, I'm afraid. The weekends race by, Monday comes along and I am in a blind stupor. Where did it all go? Why does my house look exactly the same way it did on Friday morning? oh yeah..here's why. ( refer to number 6!)

But seriously, the real excuse for leaving you guys hanging was the fact that we were far, far away from home. We left for Utah, a six hour drive..... for one day. (Yes, as a mater of fact I AM crazy, thank you very much.) But for Family, it was all worth it.

I got to see my nephew get baptized, hang out with The Man's sister and her family, who we never see, and just get a little mini vacation from my normal day -to-day life.

And I did not eat even one smidgen of sugar! Proud? You better be.

It was sheer power of will that kept me from diving head first into the massive pan of chocolate covered peanut butter bars they provided with the lunch after the baptism. CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUT BUTTER BARS!!!!! Those two ingredients combined in anything and I am head over heels! Not only were there those, but they had a HUGE candy basket in the middle of the counter with all different kinds of scrumptious delights.( some from Germany!)

You guys, I wanted it soooooooo bad! And to top it all of, The Man sits down right next to me with his plate covered in sinfully delicious treats. I could smell it. I watched every move he made, my mouth drooling with imagined tastes, as he lifted his hands up and down, back and forth from the table to his mouth.

I now know what it feels like to be my dog, sitting there with big eyes under the table, staring at us, waiting hopefully for any shred of a morsel to perhaps find its way to the floor and subsequently, to his mouth.

Is this really what it is to be an addict? Will I be this way my whole life? Does it get better?

I pray that it does!

Anyway, I actually feel really good, aside from occasional intense cravings for something sweet. Those are promptly satisfied with a good helping of fruit..or a yummy smoothie. All in all things are going great! My headaches are dissipating, my energy levels are up, and I haven't been cranky for a couple of days. ( well, not as cranky as I used to be...)

I might Post my pre-sugar stats on the blog somewhere. You know, weight, size, symptoms etc. That way we can track the changes and see the difference. If anyone is wanting to do this with me, its a good idea to write all this down somewhere for your own personal use. ( you don't have to publicly humiliate yourself along with me!) ;-)

I also promise that this wont be the only thing I ever blog about. I have too much crazy crap in my life to not share it with total strangers! So for now, I must say goodbye. I am going to post the first reason sugar is harmful to your body in a separate post, so watch out and keep tuning in!