Jun 15, 2010

Little Mrs. Cranky Pants

Today is a cranky day. I can't help it. 

Maybe its because I have stayed up past midnight for the last three nights in a row.

It could be that one of my good friends is leaving and I am totally sad. Around this place, for me, good ones are hard to come by. When you do find one, you keep a hold of them with both hands and squeeze. So letting go is hard.

Another reason that has added to my mood is the ever looming feelings of inadequacy, at anything I ever attempt to do. My house is never quite clean the way I want it to be. My kids are always smeared with dirt and fighting over nothing. Getting a shower in before the late afternoon and then fitting into any of my clothes would be a miracle and any hobbies I desperately want to get better at and turn into passions don't come to fruition. The more I dwell on it, the worse it feels. Today, I can't quite get my act together. 

Ugh, I hate being cranky. It affects every aspect of my life. My kids suffer since I have NO patience. My husband feeds off that energy and in turn becomes cranky himself, which makes me feel even worse. Cranky days are the ones where you just want to crawl back in bed and start the day all over. 

I am normally a very happy person. I try to look at the bright side of everything and you can often find me muttering positive reinforcements as I walk around. Yes, I talk to my self! 

" It's Ok Ashleigh, you can do that pile of laundry tomorrow and it won't kill you." 

" Your husband will still love you if he comes home and you are wearing the same P. J.s he left you in this morning." 

" you jut started to learn how to do this, you aren't going to be perfect at it right now! It takes time..." 

" you are appreciated and have a purpose in this life other than cooking, cleaning, childbearing etc.!"

Sometimes, at least once a week, I wake up cranky. I spend my day cranky and I go to bed cranky. The good news is, I can wake up the next day and my perspective totally changes. The feelings that I experience the day before quickly pass and I can go on with my life knowing I really am a good person with a lot of great things to share with the world. 

I think its normal for everyone to live a day as a little Mrs. Cranky Pants, its how you come out of it at the end that defines you.


What about the rest of you? Are you ready to get real about your cranky days? 




4 comments:

  1. some weeks it seems like i have more days as miss cranky thank not.
    my life aint always the way i want it to be... but I am blessed with out a doubt!

    hope ur Mrs. joyful tomorrow :-)

    God Bless
    <3
    otm

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  2. LOL Ashleigh--I have weeks like that, but I am laughing at your daily affirmations. I have days where I go around with a fake smile on my face just trying to convince myself. ;)

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  3. Are you sure you weren't just talking about my life??? Sounds like we have very very much in common!!! *especially with the parts where you talk to yourself ;) All I have to say is IT WILL BE OKAY GIRL!!! We just changed stations from Kansas to Germany and my best friend and I had to part ways (shes in TX now) It is the hardest thing I have had to deal with, and it still makes me sad and it has been like 6 months. There isn't a day that goesby that I dont say to myself(or outloud)"I miss my friend" Hang in there chica!

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  4. Sad! I am soooo going to miss my buddy...who in the heck am I going to cut in line at Eclipse with??? Thank you so much...for EVERYTHING! By the way, Miller and I LOVED your comment on my photo mat you gave me :) xoxo love ya!

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