The ever elusive shower

I was thinking today. Yes, surprising, I know.

Why is it that no matter how hard I try to stay sanitary, I seem to come in dead last in the race for a better smelling body. I'm not saying that I stink all the time. I know I don't because I am constantly asking The Man if I do. " No Ashleigh," He says ever so patiently for the hundredth time " I can't smell you...I can't smell anything but your normal you smell." Whats that supposed to mean anyway, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Anyway, I have two kids. Everybody knows it. But what everyone doesn't know, but now will, is that I don't always get a shower everyday. Eww, gross I know!! This is what I'm saying!

Why is it that I don't? Do you think its because I am such a super mom/ trophy wife/ humanitarian/best friend/errand runner/maid/cook/coupon ninja/party girl that I have absolutely no time on my hands? I don't think that one is it, because at this point in time I have trouble filling the endless hours of my day with enough stimulating activities to keep my pantry from becoming stripped bare of all its goodies in one boredom induced rampage.

So, maybe it could be that I am running around after my kids all day, shuffling them too and fro from place to place. Its probably not that one either since my kids aren't even in school yet and we pretty much stay home all day and do heaven knows what, since when I go to bed my house looks exactly the way it did when I woke up.

Then it must be the fact that I sleep in as long as possible and when my kids wake up I bring them into bed with me to suck out as many minutes of blissful shuteye that I can. And then I blog all day. No it can be this one either, certainly not. I NEVER do that.....

So why then, my friends, do I torture myself by constantly sniffing my armpits. Why do I not just get up early, say..6 am with The Man, take a shower and be done with it? Why does this ever so important hygienic ritual continually slip out from under my grasp?

I have talked to many women with this same problem. First time moms who can't even remember what is was like to have smooth, un-fuzzied teeth. Seasoned veterans with many children living at home, who must jump from bed and into a hat and sweats because someones alarm forgot to go off and they are late for school. Even grandmothers and near empty nesters who seem to just forget the time and the day slips past. ( or they really are busy doing productive things....)
The consensus seems to be that no one knows the answer. Its a conundrum. We must just have issues. I know many good friends who are always cute and tidy..and clean. Why is it so easy for them? Perhaps the answer will never be found. We will wander through this life perplexed at our situation, wishing we could change it. But alas, our desires will never be satiated.


Ok Ok, I'm just lazy and would rather do something else that take all the time it takes to get ready, especially in the morning...ugh!!! There, I said it. Besides..who do I ever see, and who else ever smells me besides The Man, and he promised to love me for better or for worse..or stinky, right?

( this is an aside note: I really don't stink, and I really do get ready... most days!)