Sep 10, 2007

It's a long one folks!

“I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention” Diane Sawyer

Today has been an interesting day to say the least. I, being the great and amazing house keeper that I am, decided to finally pack up that HUGE pile of clothes that has been slowly taking over the floor of Little Girl's bedroom for the last..well, forever. Clothes that have either not fit her for at least seven months, or will not fit her for at least another seven! Yes, I know. Throwing clothes in a heap against the wall for seven months hardly qualifies me for maid of the year, but if you have seen my garage ( where the boxes for these clothes have been hiding since we moved here) then you would know the effort I had to extend to get this pile cleaned up!

First I had to open the garage door to even get to the side of it where all of our junk..I mean appreciated accumulation of residing. Our car barely fits in its assigned space and with the door closed there is maybe three inches of space between it and the bumper. Good old Corey Barton! So, since my legs are not ( sadly) three inches across, up goes the door and around the car I go. Next feat, the pile. Oh man! What were we thinking? Throwing random boxes, sleeping bags, stoves, baby toys, junk over there in that corner, to land where it may!? As my mother would say," you weren't!" ( thinking!) So, I dig. Digging, digging, and more digging until " aha!" like a buried treasure I find a box, " baby girl clothes, 0-3 months." Here it is, oh and there is another one, and another! Its about time! I place them all on the hood of my car so I can carry them all in without having to extend too much energy by walking all the way around it five times and back. ( and I wrack my brain over where these 30 extra pounds came from!)

Now, many of you are wondering where, perchance, are my beautiful, lovely children while all this hunting is going on? That comes next my friends.
While I'm placing the boxes on my car and getting ready to heave them through the door, ( they aren't really heavy, I'm just a pansy) I hear a very loud and very distinctly The Boy yell of, " mom...MOM, MOOOOOOOOOOOM!" I can hear this very loud yell from the garage because all of the windows in my house are opened, to let the breeze clear out a odd and mysterious smell that I woke up to this morning. So, inevitably the whole neighborhood was sure to have heard the following conversation:

Me: " WHAT !?"
The Boy: " WHERE ARE YOU?"
The Boy: " OH, OK..... MOM? I HAVE TO GO POOP!"
Me: " OK...(embarrassed that everyone, I'm sure, now knows the bodily function needs of my four year old) WELL, JUST GO I"LL BE UP IN A MINUTE! ( though this doesn't come close to the embarrassment of the " mom and dad are going upstairs to get naked" comment from The Boy's mouth the other day..Oh yeah..but that's a blog for another day!)
The Boy: "ALRIGHT!"

So, I walk back around the car, shut the garage door and bring all my boxes in. I can hear, through the monitor downstairs, that The Boy is indeed in the bathroom and has begun to lecture Little Girl on some random thing that I didn't quite catch before heading up the stairs to help him. I turn the corner, step up the last couple of stairs and The Boy is sitting on the toilet. ( sorry if that's a bad visual!) Little girl has her back turned to me. Smiling at The Boy, I say, " Hi, what are you guys doing up here? At the same exact point in time, Little Girl turns around with a bottle of some sort in her hand. It didn't register at first, and then I saw her face. A face like you had just eaten a lemon after brushing your teeth. It was all screwed up in a way I can't describe and her tongue was hanging out. Sounds of gagging and sputtering were emitting from her throat.

I immediately go to the bottle and discover that she had just found and ingested a questionable amount of Mary Kay Blemish Control Toner! So, of course, I freak out, grab a cup and start shoveling water into her mouth. Then I think to myself, " what if its one of those times where giving water makes it worse!" So I freak out again, grab the bottle and call poison control.

I decided that from the look of the thing ( it was my sisters and she told me how much was in it before Little Girl got a hold of it, which was about the same as how much was in it after.) that she could have maybe gotten barely a teaspoon into her. The poison control lady was very nice and surprisingly ( the toner contains Salicylic Acid) she said it wasn't the acid part they were worried about, since I guess its just aspirin. They were more concerned with the alcohol level. She hadn't ingested enough for a problem though, and while I was talking , Little Girl was running around singing and screaming and laughing at the top of her lungs. So me and the lady on the phone decided she was just fine. A little juice and a nice snack were all the doctor ordered.

So the moral(s) of this big, huge, long blog story? Always keep the windows shut while having important bowl movement discussions, never tell your children you are going upstairs to play married games while they watch a movie and then when they scream or start fighting in the middle of your games, go downstairs to check on them while only wearing a towel,please pick up the darn pile of clothes long before it gets out of hand, keep your sisters medicated skin care up and far away from your inquisitive children's little reaches, and finally, pay attention to your kids or they could die! =-)( oh and I didn't just leave The Boy sitting on the toilet, I did manage to help him finish up his business somewhere in the middle of all the chaos.)

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