And we're back!

Ok, so it has been a while hasn't it? I just needed a little time off to re-charge! So here I am, back in full swing...hopefully. It was nice to hear that I actually had people reading my stuff and liking it enough to miss it! ;-)

So first off I want to say that I love being pregnant. It might not have sounded like it previously, but it really is true. Since I got knocked up I have lost 10 pounds! This is like the best weight loss program in the world! I never lost weight with any other babies. For some reason this time around I am super sick and the stinky smell of food just turns me off! I think I am getting over it now though, so lets all pray that Ashleigh doesn't balloon up over night!

Christmas is in a week and I can't believe it. I still have shopping to do! The kids are super excited and I finally had to make a countdown chain out of paper so they would quit asking me, " is it Christmas today?" No, we still have about 40 days my dear! ;-)

We live in Boise and the weather here is so mild that I am pretty sure we are still in September. It has snowed twice I think and both times it melted right away. Its raining outside right now and I doubt it will turn into snow before we go to bed. We might wake up to a little, but by the afternoon, it will all be gone. It doesn't seem like Christmas without snow. I don't know how people in warm states deal with it! Though I must say, we moved here from Rexburg Idaho and anyone who has ever lived there for a winter will say that I should feel lucky! That place is crazy. You better not go outside with a snotty nose or the minute you breath in it freezes inside your nostrils and your nose immediately falls off to shatter on the ground. And it is so windy that even if your are wearing five shirts and a coat made for the arctic, you still have frostbite on your chest when you get home. So needless to say that even though its sad to have bare ground on Christmas morning, I would rather that than the other!

So you guys, its good to be back. I will try hard to write more often. I do have a lot to talk about and it will be good to hear from you guys again! Till next time!

I must have been in a bad mood..

Do you ever post a blog thinking that its fantastic and then go in the next day to re-read it and discover that it really was a tad little bit off?

I think my last post sounds a little harsh, and whiny and well, a lot like a little baby!

Sorry about that. My usual happy-go-lucky personality must be hiding behind my exhaustion. Though it did feel good to vent a little, so maybe we can all just forget the entire episode!

So today is Friday! I'm excited for the weekend. It will finally be December. Why has November dragged on for sooooo long? Hopefully tomorrow we will go get our Christmas tree and we can finally have a place that looks nice to stash the 50 (ok, so maybe only like 10..but still..it looks like a lot more!) gifts my mother sent down with my sis after thanksgiving. ( wow, that was a long sentence!) They have been piled up in the corner of my front room and my children are going crazy! The Boy thinks they are ALL for him and cannot grasp the concept of possibly having to share them. Little Girl just loves all the pretty wrapping and wants to tear it off and keep it forever. I just want to know what is in the REALLY BIG ONE labeled Ashleigh. Oh yeah, I'm just as bad as my kids I suppose. But I have refrained from picking it up and shaking it to hear what rattles around. Mostly due to its mammoth size, but also because I like surprises!

So tomorrow the tree and I will bring out all of my decorations and it will be beautiful. And my house will be lovely as well. My mommy gave me a bunch of decorative stuff from her house last year, so it will be nice to actually have something to put up. Although I have no shelves or books cases, so its going to be interesting to see where it all ends up. I might suffer from a heart attack by the end of this month from trying to keep my babies away from all my nice, fragile and oh so important to me Christmas decorations that will all be crammed onto the front room coffee table!

So Happy Holidays to everyone. I am requesting addresses from everyone who might want to receive a Christmas card and family letter from the Browns, so feel free to let me know! I am also looking for awesome, terrific and amazing gift ideas for 27 year old men. Of course its not for my husband...ha ha ha..I already know everything to get him because I am a great, all knowing wife, its for someone else I know......yeah that's it, someone else I know who wants to know what to get HER 27 year old husband. You believe me, right?

Third time's a bust..

I love being pregnant. At least I thought I did. Do I remember that far back?

First five years ago, and then three?

I do recall my first pregnancy with my son. I was 19 and skinny and fit and, if I may say so, pretty freakin cute. At least that's what everyone was saying... I loved it and I was hardly sick and I thought, " this is a piece of cake!!"

And then I gave birth... with no drugs.

I think I was in some mountain woman frame of mind where I thought that if my ancestors could do it, by George, so could I!

Boy, did their lives suck!

And baby number two.

I was excited, I was happy, I was not in as great shape as I used to be.

And we had stairs!

So, I spent a lot of time throwing things up to the top of those stairs and finding good excuses as to why The Man needed to go up there. " Oh and could you pick up that stuff that seems to be accumulating around the the last couple of steps? No, I have no idea how it all got there."

I was never really sick, nauseous yes. But in general, it was a pleasant experience.

And now we come to prego Ashleigh round three.

I won't even sugar coat it and say I'm a little behind in my exercise, or that I'm just not 19 anymore. I am fat people, big. I can not go up and down my now hated stair case more than twice in a row without stopping to catch my breath. Its sad, I know..but you have seen those stats I posted over there. I'm not as little as I once was. ( though since I got pregnant I have lost six pounds..)

This pregnancy is killing me!

I have never felt so much like a piece of doggy poo in my entire life. And If I have, it definitely didn't last this long! I can hardly eat anything, the smells alone make me want to run screaming for the sanctuary of the toilet bowl. I have no energy and my husband doesn't remember what I used to look like, pre- all day PJ's and hair from the Adams family.

He does however think its funny to casually suggest that twice as sick might mean twice as many babies in there.

I casually suggested he shove that comment somewhere where it might help him to know what it would feel like to give birth to those two babies.

Anyway, why am I laying this all out for you? Why am I dumping my load. Well, because it feels better to do it, darn it and I want everyone to know that I am not ignoring them or finding new friends who are cooler and more fun. Oh no, I would never.....


I'm just sick out of my mind and the thought of leaving the house and having fun just makes me want to vomit.

It also makes it hard to want to sit in one place staring at a computer screen and trying to come up with something witty and funny enough to entertain you all so you'll want to keep coming back. I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!

Plus, my hormones have a mind of their own and I can't be held responsible for what I might say or do! ;-)

So there might be a lag in posting, if you haven't already noticed. Hopefully in about one month( and then six months after that..) this will all just be a remnant of some horrible nightmare, bits and pieces of which I can remember, but most of it blessedly gone from memory. Its Heavenly Fathers sneaky way of tricking us into having more children. ;-)

Keep your heads up and send " feel better and lets hang out" vibes my way and soon Ashleigh will be back to her old self again! Only just a lot fatter.....

The Discovery

Last night in the tub The Boy discovered part of his " manhood" that he didn't know he had. He was actually quite concerned about it, wondering why he had them and why he couldn't just rip them off. ( oh yeah, the thought of that sends pain shooting through my legs...) I very calmly and rationally explained to him that it would be very painful if he tried and that he needed them for later use in life, when he grew up to be a man and got married and wanted to have babies. " but why?" he said so innocently. " If you ever want to have babies, you have to keep them", I said. " And if you have any further questions about this, go see your father."



Its special bonding moments like these that make being a mother totally worth it........... ;-)

The bane of my existance

Grocery shopping.
Two kids.
Saturday morning.


Enough said.

Beautiful Babes

My mom just sent me these pictures. They are from the Jensen Family reunion this last summer. My kids are gorgeous! I had to share. ;-)

Since this summer we have learned to do pigtails the right way...

The baby swing? What a ham....

TGIF

I am so happy its Friday, though I have no idea why I look forward to the weekend. Its not like I'm off of work or I don't have to do the millions of things I normally have to! But in honor of this day I am going to cheat at blogging and participate in Friday Fill In hosted by Fond Of Snape!

1. Plans and schedules are direly needed around this house!

2. I'm happy when things are crazy and I'm having fun being me. ( i.e. Girls night out!)

3. The last thing I drank was a huge thing of water before I went to bed last night. Winter totally dries me out man!

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my children and my picture albums oh and my Husband! ( not necessarily in that order....) ;-)

5. I like lots of cheese and nothing else on my pizza

6. Dear November, Please fly by quickly and be kind to me when Thanksgiving arrives. I would like to be sane afterward, but seeing as how this will be my first Thanksgiving at my own house and I am making dinner for lots of people, I don't for see anything but the nut house in my future......

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to staying home cuz we're dead broke, tomorrow my plans include, cleaning out the filthy car that has suddenly developed a strange smell, and Sunday I want to sleep all day because being prego makes you a sloth.

For more Friday Fill Ins head over and check out Fond Of Snape!

The world, it frightens me

We never leave our house doors unlocked. Ever. Even if we are home.

Our car doors aren't any different.

When we leave for vacation we lock the big garage door so it can't be lifted up.

All the windows are locked and checked regularly if we aren't using them.

My children aren't allowed to play outside without me. ( granted we have no fence..so anyone could wander in and take them. Or they do have a habit of wandering away themselves...)

My mother taught me to never answer the phone when she wasn't home, unless it was the "secret ring." She would call, let it ring twice, hang up and then call back. I will teach my children the same thing.

We had a secret code to use when someone would come to pick us up and claim to have been sent by my parents. It was S.O.S. My kids will have one too. ( though, maybe a different code now that I told you all what it was!)

My children know all about " stranger danger." The Boy knows who to talk to if he gets lost. He knows just how loud to scream and yell if someone who isn't his mommy or daddy tries to take him. He also knows that if he is being followed by someone he doesn't know, he is to run home as fast as he can. He knows what to say and who to talk to if someone tries( or succeeds) to touch him in inappropriate places. We sing songs about it, we act it out and we constantly talk about it. Once, having to find his mom was put to the test for real and it scared me to death. He did great.

Do you think I am being overly paranoid? Am I worried to much? Do I stifle my children, or scare them?

I think not.

I received an email today from one of my good friends that told of a news report of four little girls being molested inside a church building. The man just walked right in and no one knew. He also lured one of the little girls outside into his car and took off with her. He went inside a church, where people were, where their parents were. Now you know why my doors are always locked.

Its scares me to hear all the stories, to hear myself say, "that happened so far away, it couldn't happen to us." I would hate to become a victim because I was naive.

We live happy, healthy, normal lives. My children run and play just as much as any others. We go out and do things and I realize I will have to let The Boy go to the men's room on his own sometime in his life, maybe when he's 15. We love being together and being safe and I just want to keep it that way.

Am I crazy?

Wordless Wednesday

Those eyes

For more wordless Wednesday go here

Sugar sucks!...reason number 8

Ok, its been a while since I posted one of these, but due to my recent sugar binge, I really need to remind myself excatly why I started the whole no-sugar thing in the first place! My head is killing me!! So here it is:

Sugar causes food allergies

( Piont in case: My husband's father..and my husband as well I guess...is allergic to cantelope. Sad I know, that stuff is sooooo good! It makes his throat itch and close up and sharp pains occur in his sides and random places in his body around his back. His wife ( my mother in law) decided to kick sugar about five years ago and has been doing awesome ( go terry!) ever since. Well, my father in law decided to join her and after a few weeks of being sugar free, discovered that he could eat cantelope without any problems! It was amazing! He has been off and on with sugar over the years and every time he's on, his allergies flare up, and everytime he's off, they go away. Crazy huh? Just think of all the food allergies you have that you might not experience any longer if you just gave up that sweet white stuff? Think of all the foods you could eat! Its a miracle!) ;-)

Dear Internet

I've been trying to find the right way of telling you this for a while now. I'm not sure the best way to put it, so I will just come right out and say it.

I'm pregnant.

Yes, I know I'm crazy. Yes, I do already have two kids and they do take up all of my time and money and sanity. No, I don't think I was on something when I made the decision to have another baby. It wasn't even my decision alone you know! And technically, if you really think about it, Its The Man's fault. He did it to me.

Now of course I have thought this through and weighed it from every side. The pros, the cons, the long nights, the exciting moments. These last couple of months of trying have been a jumble of mixed emotions, but underneath it all was a current of excitement and joy. We want to have another baby.

You believe me right? This is a happy thing. I can just overlook the thirty or more pounds I'm bound to gain. I will ignore the magically appearing stretch lines that decorate my body like strange tattoos. What is that people say about those? They are war wounds, battle scars, decorations of honor. That's right. And the nausea? Well, that part's bad, its hard to not think about it when you're on the verge of puking 24/7. But I will be fine, it will all be fine.

Really though, I am looking forward to being pregnant. I love it. And then comes the baby. Those tiny hands and feet. The sweet smell of baby lotion and spit up. Toothless grins and first tiny laughs. And the heartache you feel when you realize your baby isn't such a baby anymore. Its hard to experience so many highs and lows in such a compacted amount of time. You almost think your heart can't take it! But this is what it was made for.

So there you have it. I have finally told you. Im having a baby. I will have three kids. I will not go insane. I am so happy. ;-)

This one goes out to the man

( Just a warning folks...it might get a little mushy.)



I think you all might know this, but just in case you don't, I'll tell ya:



Im married.




Why, you ask, am I making such and obvious statement? Here's the story:




I have a husband who is a great guy. He's loving and loyal and smart and hot and driven and focused and funny and about a million other good things. However, sometimes he can be a little insecure. Not about himself, mind you...no he knows he's all those things I just descibed, he's just a little insecure about me pretending to be single.




Ok, joke, joke, laugh, laugh. I don't really pretend to be single, in fact quite the contrary. I talk about The Man a lot! For instance here ( under " get his attention") or even here. I'm pretty sure I mention him here to! And if you look over to your right, he is definitely talked about in my "thanks for checking me out" shpeel.



So it came as a suprise to me when, the other day, The Man said that my blog made me look like I was a single mom. Ha ha, if I was a single mom , I think the whole thing would have a lot more " my appologies for being gone for such a long time, I was at the nut house......again " posts. (no offense to single mothers, you guys are amazing!)



I think his comment probably stemmed from the fact that I have no pictures of him. Well its not true, there is one at the very bottom of my home page, underneath my player. Its a picture of him chasing The Boy around our back yard. It's one of my favorites. However, it is true that there are no pictures of he and I together, looking like we actually like each other. If I hade any recent ones, I would put them up. But, since I am the only one who takes any pics around here, and there isn't anyone else to say, " hey, you guys get in together and I'll take it!", it makes it a little more understandable.



I do have pictures of us when we were dating, and when we got married and one from last year. So I am putting these pictures up for all to behold and witness that I have a husband, whom I love deeply and utterly and who I couldn't imagine my life without!



(Everyone take a look and comment on how great we look together and how married and in love I personally look so I can pass it on to The man and he can feel a little more secure with his life and his wifey-poo!) ;-)

Sucker punched

October was the craziest month ever. Like I said, I was gone for half of it and now my entire family is sick. It really sucks! I think its the flu. My sister is having a reception this weekend in CoeurdAlene and we can't go because we're all achy and puking! ( ew gross, I know!)

Now as most of you know, I have been off of sugar for probably a good month now and its been great. My headaches have disappeared and my energy levels are higher than they have been in a very long time. So its sad to say that Halloween came and slugged me right in the face, I wasn't even looking! It was a cheap shot I tell ya.

Candy, buckets of it, is now residing in my house. I thought I was strong enough to resist. I was wrong.

You know that smell of all the different kinds of goodies mixed together in one huge bowl? It brings back memories of childhood Halloweens past, cold nights of running around screaming and laughing with friends. Finally being old enough to go without parents and being able to keep all the candy you so diligently collected on your own. These are the things I think about when I secretly enter my pantry to sniff at the plethora of sugary filled delights I have so stupidly allowed to accumulate in my home.

But what thoughts enter my head as I stuff them all into my mouth? " those headaches are going to come back and its really going to be bad!" " Ashleigh, you have no will power, whats wrong with you?" " this chocolate is going to go straight to your thighs! Not to mention your stomach, arms, face and booty.....come on man!!" " so much for losing weight!"

I know, harsh right?

But as I have been sitting around for two days, being totally sick out of my mind, I have decided that, although I did give in to the evils of sugar for a few days, its ok. I can start over, tomorrow is a new day, no one is perfect. Every now and then there will be times when I will want to have a piece of cake, or a sip of a milkshake. And that is ok.

So yes, October was a crazy month. And getting punched hurts! :-) Hopefully November will be a little quieter and back to normal! We are planning on having thanksgiving at our house and The Mans parents are coming down to spend it with us, so the end of November might get a little out of control, but we shall see!

The ever elusive blog post

So, this month has been a crazy one. (OK, technically it was last month) We were out of town every weekend! Needless to say, blogging has come last on a very long list of things to get done! Not that I don't love you guys......;-)

The rest of this year will be a lot calmer, we will be staying home for thanksgiving, and probably Christmas as well. Which kind of sucks. Its hard to grow up and away from your family. I'm a home body and I love hanging out with my parents and siblings. I have a hard time spending big holidays with just my husband and kids. It feels a little lonely sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love them all and love to spend time with them. Its just different.

Any who, hopefully I can get back into the habit of writing something everyday.

Does anyone else ever have to scratch their brains to come up with something interesting and funny to blog about? Ya know, so no one is yawning by the time they are done reading it? My life isn't that interesting people! But I do like to write, so I do it anyway!

I am now trying to type one handed because Little Girl is tired and wants her mommy's lap, and her mommy's hair. She's a hair girl, it soothes her to run her fingers through it. Not her own, mind you, but mine! :-)

My hand is cramping up so I gotsta jet. More to come tomorrow! ( and a really big surprise!) So come on back and check it out!

She has Asthma

My little girl has been wheezy from birth. We thought it was cute ya know. When newborns make noises, it makes everyones hearts melt. Up until a certain age that is, at which point the red face and loud grunting stops being cute and just becomes downright disgusting. ;-)

So we didn't worry too much about the sounds she made while breathing. I thought, " maybe its Asthma..but she is so young, how would they know?"

Flash forward 4 months

Little girl still wheezes, we take her to a doctor to inquire. " She has a noisy nasal cavity." He said, instantly making me fall in love with him. No not because he is young and good looking and a doctor, but because I can stop worrying about my daughters brain cells not getting enough oxygen. I can stop fretting over how I could possibly coerce my four month old girl into taking massive amounts of drugs when I hate even giving her a half a teaspoon of cough medicine. I am relieved, I am ecstatic and I am secretly still not sure......

Flash forward a year and a half

Little Girl still wheezes, louder and more often, coughing for long periods at night and sometimes during the day. Many people listen to her breathing, " yep, she has asthma." Drat that six letter swear word! One friends daughter has it and says, after having shoved her ear into Little Girls chest, " Oh, that sound scares me!" Scares you? Your scaring me! I think its just a cold, a chest cold I tell myself, she'll get over it and you'll all see!

Four nights of humidifier treatments later, she still has it. No amount of cold medicine will send it away. " she has asthma" I remember admitting to myself, and I was sad.

None of you probably know, but I have asthma and so does my husband. He has it less than I do, in fact he doesn't even remember the last time he had to use an inhaler, but I remember mine.

If I am around dogs and cats, or cold air or exercise, I better have that little puffer, or I'm toast. I hoped to avoid that dependency with Little Girl. I wanted her to be healthy and happy and not have to be limited or disabled. I want her to be able to run and skip and play without having to stop to catch her breath hours before the other children have to. I want her to have a family dog to love and pet and cuddle with, without the fear of a hospital trip. I want so many things for her that might not come true.

Flash back last Friday in the Doctors office

" She has mild persistent asthma" he said, instantly making me hate him. Not because he is old and not very good looking and a doctor, but because he just broke my heart. " So what does it mean? what are the treatments?" I really didn't want to know, I wanted to clasp my hands over my ears and sing really loud so I couldn't hear him. But seeing as how no one else was there with me, I had no choice but to hear the sentencing. " She has to take this medicine with a nebulizer once a day every day until she is old enough to hold her own inhaler, probably about four years old. This other medicine goes in the nebulizer with the first if she has a really bad attack with rapid breathing. That isn't likely, but just so you'll be ready."

So there it is, the first two years of her life wheezing and the prognosis? The rest of her life stuck on drugs. Great. There has to be another way, maybe a second opinion with a specialist? Maybe some natural medicines? I don't know. I'm sad and relieved all at the same time. I want her to be able to breath, and have brain function! Perhaps she will grow out of it. Perhaps not. I guess all we can do is wait and see.

No, I haven't been kidnapped, but thanks for caring!

Imagine, if you will, a seven hour car ride. Now, add two screaming babies. Now add one whining dog. Now add one cranky, tired husband. Now add me. Fun huh?

Well, that was my weekend. But only a small portion of it.

We drove up to CoeurdAlene for the last part of the week. The driving part wasn't so hot, but the rest of it was great. We got to hang out with our families and just relax for a while, something I couldn't quite remember how to do!

The Man and I also celebrated our fifth year anniversary on Friday and I bet you can't guess what we did. Seriously, take a stab at it........................Nope, your way off!

Nathan went out and killed me a deer. Happy anniversary honey! And then I got to watch while he butchered it and cut it up into steaks and roasts and such and then he handed me the pieces to vacuum pack. Whoo hoo! See, finally, after five years I got to do something extra special! ;-)

In all actuality I'm glad he got to go out hunting and get something. He loves to do it and I pretty much bribed him into it anyway.( thats how I got up to Cda!) I also like deer meat, so it all works out! He did take me to a little place around here called Cotton Wood Grille the week before and he spent massive amounts of money on me, so I'm really just giving him a hard time! He loves me and spoils me ( sometimes...) and these last five years have just drug...I mean flown by! ;-)

As far as blogging goes, I have been a complete slacker. But, in my defense, Nathans parents have dial up on their computer and the pages load at about five minutes each. So, its not really conducive for long sit down sessions! But, I'm back now and I'll never leave you again!

Last thing, I'll give really big props and a huge high five to anyone who can name the movie from which this rap comes from:

My name is Batty
My logic is erratic
Potato in a jacket
Toys in the attic
I rock and I ramble
My brain is scrambled
I rap like an animal
but, I'm a mammal.

I have been watching this movie many numerous time a day for the last three days, Nathans mom bought it for The Boy and its his new favorite! Prior to this, I hadn't see it in oh..... ten or more years! Can anyone guess?

The next Ringo Star

Its 9:00 in the morning. I'm still in the stage where loud noises make my ears scream.
The Boy has found all of my metal mixing bowls and has arranged them in a half circle in front of him. He's grabbed my mixing spoons, one for each hand.

Can you picture what comes next?

Now add his beautiful four year old singing voice, at the loudest decibel point it can go.

Yeah, its gonna be one of those days.......................

Flash back poetry session

Back when I was young...er I liked to write poetry. I took classes in school and it was a stress reliever and escape form my normal world.

I came across an old notebook the other day and thought it would be cool to share some of the stuff I wrote with you!

This one I wrote when I had already graduated. There was a boy ( of course!) who I was dating and we hadn't been together very long, but I decided he wasn't for me and I broke it off. ( I had very large commitment issues!!) During the phone conversation he told me that he had loved me and I was breaking his heart. Well, needless to say I felt pretty bad....so this is what came of that:

I don't know what to say
When you talk to me the way you do
Those words you choose so carefully
Touch me in a way I'm not used to
It feels funny, in my chest
To hear you say I'm beautiful
Almost like I don't quite believe you
I don't really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I don't understand it

I don't know what to do
When you look at me the way you do
Those eyes are so sincere
They move me in a way no ones ever used to
I'm confused in my mind
When you imply that I'm the one
As if you could truly know that
No one does really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I don't understand it.

I don't know who I am
When you touch me the way you do
Those fingers gently caressing
Change me in a way I never expected to
It scares me in my heart
To feel myself falling so far
Almost as if I could never find me again
I can't really
Is that another language?
Love I think, I want to understand

Sugar sucks!...reason number 7

Sugar can weaken eye sight


( um..no wonder Im blind. Ok, well Im permanently blind in one eye anyway, but my good eye really is getting me in trouble. I can't read anything anymore! I knew it didn't have anything to do with lack of sex....as The Man has continuously claimed to be true....)

The sock abduction

I grab all the laundry from my basket..its whites today and miracle of miracles, all my socks have their buddies.

I shove as many items as will fit in the washer..they get clean enough.

I pour a large amount of detergent into the heap.. a lot more than called for, but what the heck, I'm feeling good today.

I turn it on and sit around, dutifully waiting until they are finished...actually, in reality I take off and do a little shopping, accidentally forgetting them until the next day.

I take out the "freshly" laundered clothes and throw them casually into the dryer..adding two dryer sheets, since you can never have enough " blue sparkle" scent emanating from your duds.

I remember to take them out and fold them up, four hours later...right when I was headed for bed.

I start to fold, socks first...one pair, two pairs, three pairs, four pairs, five pairs, six.....wait.

I dig through the pile..searching.

I cannot find the last sock..where is it?

I had them all when I started......but now its missing.

I stand up and head for the laundry room.....perhaps it has fallen out somewhere in transit.

I scour the room...no luck, but I did find that missing diaper that has been plaguing us with its stench for the last week. Sick......

I stand in the center of the room, scratching my head...futilely wishing it would come to me through ESP.

I wonder..ESP? Doesn't that have something to do with aliens?

Aliens? Aha! I knew it, it was them!....I loose more socks that way.

Maybe they had cold feet.

*****************************************************************************

What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit?
A frying saucer
Why are aliens messy tea-drinkers?
With flying saucers, it's hard not to spill it
Where do Martians get their eggs?
From the little green hen
What are aliens' favourite sweets?
Martian-mallows

Sugar sucks!...reason number 6

Sugar feeds cancer cells and has been connected with the development of cancer of the breast, ovaries, prostate, rectum,( um..gross. rectum cancer?) pancreas, biliary tract, lung, gallbladder and stomach.


( 'Nuff said)

The ever elusive shower

I was thinking today. Yes, surprising, I know.

Why is it that no matter how hard I try to stay sanitary, I seem to come in dead last in the race for a better smelling body. I'm not saying that I stink all the time. I know I don't because I am constantly asking The Man if I do. " No Ashleigh," He says ever so patiently for the hundredth time " I can't smell you...I can't smell anything but your normal you smell." Whats that supposed to mean anyway, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Anyway, I have two kids. Everybody knows it. But what everyone doesn't know, but now will, is that I don't always get a shower everyday. Eww, gross I know!! This is what I'm saying!

Why is it that I don't? Do you think its because I am such a super mom/ trophy wife/ humanitarian/best friend/errand runner/maid/cook/coupon ninja/party girl that I have absolutely no time on my hands? I don't think that one is it, because at this point in time I have trouble filling the endless hours of my day with enough stimulating activities to keep my pantry from becoming stripped bare of all its goodies in one boredom induced rampage.

So, maybe it could be that I am running around after my kids all day, shuffling them too and fro from place to place. Its probably not that one either since my kids aren't even in school yet and we pretty much stay home all day and do heaven knows what, since when I go to bed my house looks exactly the way it did when I woke up.

Then it must be the fact that I sleep in as long as possible and when my kids wake up I bring them into bed with me to suck out as many minutes of blissful shuteye that I can. And then I blog all day. No it can be this one either, certainly not. I NEVER do that.....

So why then, my friends, do I torture myself by constantly sniffing my armpits. Why do I not just get up early, say..6 am with The Man, take a shower and be done with it? Why does this ever so important hygienic ritual continually slip out from under my grasp?

I have talked to many women with this same problem. First time moms who can't even remember what is was like to have smooth, un-fuzzied teeth. Seasoned veterans with many children living at home, who must jump from bed and into a hat and sweats because someones alarm forgot to go off and they are late for school. Even grandmothers and near empty nesters who seem to just forget the time and the day slips past. ( or they really are busy doing productive things....)
The consensus seems to be that no one knows the answer. Its a conundrum. We must just have issues. I know many good friends who are always cute and tidy..and clean. Why is it so easy for them? Perhaps the answer will never be found. We will wander through this life perplexed at our situation, wishing we could change it. But alas, our desires will never be satiated.


Ok Ok, I'm just lazy and would rather do something else that take all the time it takes to get ready, especially in the morning...ugh!!! There, I said it. Besides..who do I ever see, and who else ever smells me besides The Man, and he promised to love me for better or for worse..or stinky, right?

( this is an aside note: I really don't stink, and I really do get ready... most days!)

Sugar Sucks!...reason number 5

Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function.

( So, premature aging and sagging..yummy. Think about that next time you eat a donut!) ;-)

The armpit of Idaho

I live in a small town about 20 minutes outside of Boise Idaho. It doesn't have much. It takes me ten to fifteen minutes to get to Walmart and there is no mall. Shopping is the pits.

So if I'm looking for anything good I have to jump in my car, kids in tow, and make the drive into the Big City.

Today was one of those days.

Before I continue I have make an aside note:
My sister is living with me for a few months before she heads off into the real world of college. I love having her here..well when I actually see her, but I have to think of fun things to do to help entertain her. Being a stay at home mom isn't the big party its hyped up to be! The only thing I can ever come up with is shopping, which leads us back to my story...

There is this really cute little store in downtown Boise called Lux Fashion Lounge. Its like DI or GoodWill but the owners only buy cute trendy clothes. So I love it because its cheap and I don't have to dig through all the other stuff you would normally have to at those other places. ( though I do shop at DI and GoodWill all the time!)

So, this morning we headed off. ( It's important to note here that I have only driven around downtown Boise once by myself. There are a lot of one way streets...its very scary! Don't laugh you big City slickers out there!)

I had map quested how to get there. It was all written down and planned out in my head. It was only two turns after the freeway ended and it should have been a piece of cake. Yeah..right.

We made the two turns perfectly, our eyes were on the lookout for the sign, and we drove all the way up the street without seeing it. So we turned around the block and went back up the street. ( it was a one-way of course..) We didn't see it again. Now I was getting flustered and nervous. Did I get the address right? Did I forget to write down a street? No, I was pretty sure we were right where the Internet told us to be. So around we went again.

No luck. Ugh..I was getting sooo mad! We decided at that point to just find a parking spot and walk it out. And whatdya know, all the parking spaces had meters... did we bring quarters? Of course not. So for the millionth time we headed back around the block.

Just as I thought about saying, " FORGET IT!" and ramming my car through the nearest building, a sign for a parking garage caught my eye. We were saved!

Parking the car took to seconds. ( I know how to maneuver my way around one of those places at least!) and we were finally on the street. It was FREEZING!!

We shivered our way up the road to the where I was sure the dumb store was supposed to be. " It said 873 or something like that," I kept saying, so sure that I remembered the address from the one glance I had given it.

So we walked.....we walked and walked and walked, and not in a straight line,no, around in circles.....again. Our noses turned red and my fingers froze into curled tendrils around the stroller handle. My children sat motionless, quiet statues of ice. ( Ha, ha..I wish..) Then we had a brilliant idea, " Let's ask somebody!" We stopped a nice looking business woman on the street, " Oh that's way over there..go down this street for forever and then turn on this other street and walk a few blocks, it's in a little plaza square across from this restaurant."

"Wow", I thought to myself as we started down the street, " we were way off!" We didn't even make it half a block before I saw out of the corner of my eye a bright red sign on the sidewalk that read, " LUX." Well thank you random lady off of the street, you were of absolutely no help at all! ;-)

We had made it. It was about stinkin time. We were so cold and my kids were starving, which made then completely terrible in the store, but it was worth it. I found a couple of shirts and my sister found some cute stuff too. We also discovered that Lux has another store just up the street called Lux Vintage, which is right up Rachael's alley. She found the cutest dress and even though it was a crappy time getting there it was a fun time hangin out and bonding with my little sis. I don't know if she would say the same thing, but at least it got us both out of the house!

And I didn't have one bit of trouble finding my way back to the freeway. Thanx to the hippy girl in the vintage store. Thank you hippy girl in the store, you were of great help indeed.

Oh, by the way, the address was 783 or something like that..we had been walking around and around one block too far.

Sugar Sucks!...reason 3 and 4

Ok, so I skipped yesterday..sorry. Today I will do two!

Sugar can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline, hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.

( DUH!!! So that explains it....no wonder! And we send our kids off to school after having a nice big helping of froot loops?)

Sugar can produce a significant rise in total cholesterol, tryglicerides and bad cholesterol and a decrease in good cholesterol.

( Can anyone say heart attack?)

Ashleigh's life as a chapter book...

The scene of this story begins with our heroine Ashleigh and her two beautiful kids standing in line to check out at Walmart. They have been standing there a very, very long time when...............

Ashleigh: * to herself* " Oh, look over there..its The Jungle Book out on DVD. It must be an an anniversary edition. Cool, The Boy hasn't seen that one yet!" She grabs one off of the shelf and is looking it over when her very observant son turns to her and points.

Little Boy: " look over there at that movie mom! It has a bear and a tiger! Can I get that movie for me?"

Ashleigh smiles to herself, proud because she has been so perceptive in knowing what her son would like. She hands the one she is holding over to Little Boy and says...

Ashleigh: " This movie, right here?"

Little Boy: * huge grin on his face* " Yes! Are you going to get it for me?"

Ashleigh: " I think that would be alright."

Little Boy: " Thanks mom!"

Ashleigh is feeling pretty good right about now. Her kids have just endured an hour long shopping trip, buying many more numerous things than were on the original list, and they were actually pretty good throughout the whole endeavor. Only a few screams and maybe one or two complete meltdowns. Of course..there was that incident with the umbrellas, but that was Ashleigh's own fault..so she doesn't count it. She figures that a little reward is in order and a new show to watch is much better than a hunk of sugary death! ( not that she normally bribes her kids to be good...no not her..never..)

As Ashleigh begins to put her groceries up on the check stand, Little Boy stands up in the cart gives her a kiss on the cheek and hugs her tight. ( obvious he is elated by his new gift!) Ashleigh kisses him back and says how much she loves him. Then the following words proceed from his mouth:

Little Boy: " I love you too mom. I love you since you gave me this new movie!"

Ashleigh: "Since I gave you the movie? You love me even if I don't buy you stuff... right?"

Little Boy: " yeah...but I REALLY love you for buying me this movie!"

Ashleigh:" well...as long as you love me I guess. That's all that matters"

Ashleigh's new found confidence in her decision to reward her children for good deeds has now been totally decimated.

Thus ends this chapter of our story of one woman, desperate to keep her children from forcing her into a life of a recluse. -

How will it all end? Will she ever find a way to keep her children somewhat disciplined while in public? Is there a way for her to remain sane and be a mother at the same time?

Stayed tuned to find out!

Pre sugar Stats

I put em up..so check em out! Its hard to admit what I have been trying to deny.. but when you write things out like this it really opens your eyes.

When I first got married I weighed 135 pounds and was a size 8. I went up one size for each baby I had, and added about 20 Lbs each!

See, doesn't that feel so much better? Now that I see it..it totally sucks!

I say to myself, " you aren't THAT bad...you look OK...."

Who wants to look OK? Not I said the fly. I want to look ( and feel) GREAT!

I guess that requires some sacrifice and a lot of effort.

Sugar Sucks!...reason number 2

Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in your body: causes chromium and copper deficiencies and interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.

( Can we say Osteoporosis? At 24 years old? That really sucks! And since you need magnesium to help with calcium absorption in the body, it's a double sucky whammy!)

Sugar sucks!..reason number 1

Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.

( I wondered why I was ALWAYS getting sick. When I was younger I hardly ever caught anything! I was also ten times more active, hardly ever ate any sweet stuff and loved fruits and veggies. Now?...not so much.)

Ashleigh, weekends and posts...

Those three things don't really mesh, I'm afraid. The weekends race by, Monday comes along and I am in a blind stupor. Where did it all go? Why does my house look exactly the same way it did on Friday morning? oh yeah..here's why. ( refer to number 6!)

But seriously, the real excuse for leaving you guys hanging was the fact that we were far, far away from home. We left for Utah, a six hour drive..... for one day. (Yes, as a mater of fact I AM crazy, thank you very much.) But for Family, it was all worth it.

I got to see my nephew get baptized, hang out with The Man's sister and her family, who we never see, and just get a little mini vacation from my normal day -to-day life.

And I did not eat even one smidgen of sugar! Proud? You better be.

It was sheer power of will that kept me from diving head first into the massive pan of chocolate covered peanut butter bars they provided with the lunch after the baptism. CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUT BUTTER BARS!!!!! Those two ingredients combined in anything and I am head over heels! Not only were there those, but they had a HUGE candy basket in the middle of the counter with all different kinds of scrumptious delights.( some from Germany!)

You guys, I wanted it soooooooo bad! And to top it all of, The Man sits down right next to me with his plate covered in sinfully delicious treats. I could smell it. I watched every move he made, my mouth drooling with imagined tastes, as he lifted his hands up and down, back and forth from the table to his mouth.

I now know what it feels like to be my dog, sitting there with big eyes under the table, staring at us, waiting hopefully for any shred of a morsel to perhaps find its way to the floor and subsequently, to his mouth.

Is this really what it is to be an addict? Will I be this way my whole life? Does it get better?

I pray that it does!

Anyway, I actually feel really good, aside from occasional intense cravings for something sweet. Those are promptly satisfied with a good helping of fruit..or a yummy smoothie. All in all things are going great! My headaches are dissipating, my energy levels are up, and I haven't been cranky for a couple of days. ( well, not as cranky as I used to be...)

I might Post my pre-sugar stats on the blog somewhere. You know, weight, size, symptoms etc. That way we can track the changes and see the difference. If anyone is wanting to do this with me, its a good idea to write all this down somewhere for your own personal use. ( you don't have to publicly humiliate yourself along with me!) ;-)

I also promise that this wont be the only thing I ever blog about. I have too much crazy crap in my life to not share it with total strangers! So for now, I must say goodbye. I am going to post the first reason sugar is harmful to your body in a separate post, so watch out and keep tuning in!

Im a drug addict.

Well my friends, it has officially begun. What, you ask?

My new life without SUGAR!

Yes, that right no more sweets for me. No more cookies, cakes, doughnuts, candy bars, .....chocolate * drool* or any other good- but- oh -so- bad for you confection ever made!

* GASP!* BUT WHY!!!

Well here is a list of ailments Ashleigh is currently suffering from due to her high volume of sugar intake:
1: Monster head aches..migraines if you will. I get them when I eat sugar, I get them when I don't.

2: Secret migraines. The ones that cause pressure in my head and eyes and all around everywhere up there, but have no pain. Weird huh? I can't focus or think when these are happening. Don't ask me..I'm just the recipient of the strange but annoying symptom.

3: Dizziness. Not the kind that happens when you stand up too fast..oh no..the kind that comes on when your standing completely still and then you almost fall over. Or your bending down to clip your daughter in her stroller and you do fall over. It sucks.

4: This awful stuff called acne. ( ew gross, I know!) You would think that at my age, having already gone through puberty, that this stuff would be receding. I have worse skin now than I did in high school. (Partially due to lack of sleep I'm sure, which I am also trying to remedy)

5: Fatigue and witchy-ness. I am tired. I am cranky. I have no patience. I am a B- word, a lot of the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I always wake up exhausted.

6: I have intense cravings for Chocolate. Not candy, not cake not sweet stuff like that. Chocolate specifically. My body whispers, " Wouldn't a nice, huge bag of pnt butter M&M's taste good right about now? Go ahead, eat the whole thing, you aren't THAT fat," or " No treats in the pantry today? Why not rip open one of those bags of chocolate chips? No ones going to miss one little bag." ( FYI: I have done this. I have been caught. ( I stuffed the bag down the side of the couch and The Man just so happened to sit in that very spot and it somehow popped out!) It wasn't very pretty.)

7: Im fat. I know, I know. But seriously, Im going to say this only to prove my point. On average, one American eats 3-4 pounds of sugar a week. One pound of sugar has over 2,000 calories. You do the math. Think about how many calories I will cut out of my diet just by giving up sugar. And then what happens after that..inevitable weight loss. Cool huh?

8: Other ones that I'm not going to blather on about because this is already really long!

So the short of it is, I have an addiction. I'm a druggie! Who ever could have guessed that this sweet young girl from a middle sized town in Idaho would succumb to the temptations of a powerful, sweet, yummy drug? ;-)

So that's it. Yesterday was my first day without it and I am actually feeling better already. If anyone is interested in joining me..even for experiment sake, let me know. Its good to have support. Here is a list of really good books to check out if you want to learn more!

Wish me luck!

"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
" Sweet Deception" by Dr. Joseph Mercola
" Lick the Sugar Habit" by Nancy Appleton, PhD

I am also going post every day, one way sugar harms your body. So check it out! =-) I will get down off of my soap box now......

Where have I been?

Five days without posting? What was I thinking?

Well, this last weekend Ashleigh was home alone. *put hands to cheeks and scream:AAAAHHHHHHHH*
And well, things weren't so great.

First of all, four days with just me and the kids? Things were bound to get scary!
1: I lost The Boy at Wal-mart.(don't worry, I found him again.)
2: I had an emotional breakdown in front of about 15 awesome women..tears and all!
3: Little Girl has either a chest cold..or Asthma, poor kid could hardly breath.
4 I went out looking for a sweet coupon deal, drove around for an hour trying to find the dumb store and ended up at Krispy Kreme. I bought two dozen donughts. ( did I mention it was just me at home?)

Needless to say I wasn't feeling so hot by Sunday night when The Man returned.

Secondly, I discovered that I really am attached to The Man. I was trying to deny it. I didn't really want to face the fact that I could possibly NEED someone other than myself so much. But I conceede, and its all his fault! Things just aren't right when he's not around.

So, I haven't really felt like posting. But all that has changed, Im a new woman!

From now on, its posting everyday for me!

Oh, and I wanted to say if anyone out there who is reading this blog happens upon a freakin sweet, awesome coupon ninja deal...post it in a comment. I want to know!

Who can relate?

Oh, this is just too funny..and oh so true. He's really quite genius actually.

If you have kids..or even if you don't... give it a listen!

I am the Coupon Ninja!

This is a long one..but suffer through it. Its well worth your time...I promise!


I have this friend. Let's call her "Maybell". "Maybell" is a Coupon Ninja. ( I know, lots of references to Ninjas this week...there cool OK..) Anyway, this friend named "Maybell", who is a coupon Ninja, introduced me just recently to the Coupon Ninja World.

There's a whole world of Coupon Ninjas, you ask? Well, yes..yes there is and I can't believe I never even knew.

I mean, I knew there were people out there who saved a few bucks here and there from clipping those little pieces of paper out of magazines and newspapers. " Not for me!" I said ever so ignorantly. " I don't see the point or the gain from spending the effort."

Well, my dear friends....this Wednesday I was re-educated.

Here's how it went:( note: I have taken liberties with this conversation..it might be a tad exaggerated..but only to heighten the effect..)

Said Maybell to my other Coupon Ninja friend " Harriet" ( name changed to protect the not-so -innocent): So, are you going to go to the store with those coupons to get the freaking sweet awesome deal that is waiting for you there?

Said " Harriet" to "Maybell": I am at Ashleigh's house right now.

Said " Maybell" to " Harriet": Take Ashleigh along... educate her, teach her and guide her into the wonderful World Of Coupon Ninja-ness.

Said " Harriet" to Ashleigh: Come...to the store we go.

Said Ashleigh to " Harriet": Um..I have to get out of my pajamas, brush my hair and teeth and then to the same for my half naked children. After that..Yes, I shall join you on this quest for the freakin sweet, awesome deal. I must tell you that I am skeptical though. I have heard its not worth the effort spent.

Said " Harriet" to Ashleigh: Just get in the stinkin' car.

So off we went to the store with our kids in tow. Two women on a mission, our envelopes stuffed with coupons and (for one of those women, namely..me), embarking on a journey of enlightenment.

At the store:

Said " Harriet" to Ashleigh: Here are the fifty million coupons you need to make this work, keep them in order, keep all your stuff in your cart in order, don't look so scared.....and hold on.

Said Ashleigh to " Harriet": I'm confused.. ( actually, I think I said that at least a hundred times..if not more)

Said " Harriet" to Ashleigh: Just pick what you want and stick it in your cart..I'll help you with the rest...my goodness woman!

10 - 15 minutes later, at the checkout:

Said Ashleigh to the cashier: Here's all my stuff and here's all my coupons..I hope this works.

Said the cashier to Ashleigh ( after ringing up 11 boxes of assorted Post and Quaker ( not cheap) cereal, 4 boxes of Quaker chocolate chip and smores ( not cheap) granola bars and 2 (1 quart) boxes of Rice Dream rice milk ( not cheap): That will be 6 dollars and 30 cents please.

Said Ashleigh to the cashier: nothing..because I had fainted.....


Isn't that sooooooo crazy? " Harriet's" total was almost the same as mine and her cashier almost couldn't believe it!

Want to hear something even more crazy? I have another friend ( yes, Ashleigh has lots of friends huh?) ;-) who got 52 boxes of cereal and 4 Gallons of milk for..wait for it........................10 bucks! ( she added up what it would have been without all the crazy Ninja-ness and...over two hundred dollars!)

I am dying over here! This whole time I thought it wasn't worth it..that you didn't really save that much money. " Maybell" has told me that you even can get money back..they owe YOU after its all said and done.

The Man was so impressed with my wicked Ninja skills that he actually encouraged me to continue! That alone..in and of itself is worth more that the effort it takes to get it all done.

If any of you are wondering how you too can enter this World of Coupon Ninja-ness, let me know. Its way too long to explain on here..but oh sooooooo worth it in the end. Especially those of you who are looking to bulk up your food storage.(or in my case, actually start it..) Its amazing!

So for now..I bit you Adieu'. I must leave to hone my new found skills so that I may one day become a Coupon Ninja Master. Good luck to you all.